Ok, today’s repost is not a cop out, I swear it. Have I mentioned that right now the FI is in A2 and I am here in Cville? He moved back earlier to start his program and I still have my research jobs through the summer. I know this sounds crazy but it’s really hard to be apart, even if it is only for 6 weeks. You see, we’ve been very close from the beginning when we first met. I talk about the story of our relationship in detail in one of my favorite posts to date, originally posted Everybody’s Regular Plan. Since I’m missing him so much right now and since my routine has gone all crazy without him around (I’ve been staying up til 3am every night watching Chopped…come on people), I thought I’d repost since it really is one of my favorites. I think it’s also really relevant right now for me as I make yet another change/transition in my life. It’s hard not to think, “Am I doing the right thing? Is this where I should be? Is this what I should have at this point in my life?”
Hope y’all have a great weekend and give hugs to the loved ones around you, whether they be dogs, cats, kids, friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands, or wives.
Everybody’s Regular Plan (As posted in February 2013)
First of all, thank you so, so much for all of your kind words and well wishes on our recent engagement. The BF–I mean FI — and I are so excited for the future and are ready to get down and dirty with some wedding planning. The special day isn’t until June 2014 but vendors, especially the good ones, are booked up crazy fast here in Charlottesville, which is an extremely popular place to get married what with the vineyards and beautiful venues. I’m sure I will be writing about wedding planning a bit on the ole’ blog but I won’t be doing it that often so I don’t bore you all!
Before I ever even get to any of that, I should probably start from the beginning. I don’t talk much about my relationship on the blog. Never have really now that I think about it. So here’s a post on how the FI and I met, some of the crazy things we’ve done together, and how we ended up engaged to be married!!! This will be a precursor to tomorrow’s post on the engagement
The FI and I met in 2006 playing on the same co-ed soccer team in Boston and have been dating since the beginning of 2008 (yes we are coming up on 5 years people). We were very close, even from the beginning. We would hang out all over Boston, riding bikes, going to new restaurants and bars, and checking out the beaches and museums. We both lived close to downtown, me in Back Bay and him in Southie, and would trade off spending the night at each other’s apartment’s (although admittedly I would end up staying at his place more often because there was easier parking there). He even helped me train for my first marathon (Chicago 2008), running parts of my long runs with me…and eventually running the final 6 miles of the race with me. We were basically two peas in a pod from the beginning.
We’ve been having so much fun in Boston, Charlottesville, and traveling all around. We left a good group of friends in the Bean only to make new ones here in Cville. We’ve never been that type of couple that, once together, stops going out or having fun with their friends…Come on, you know those types. You’ll have a friend that goes out and is fun and as soon as they have a boyfriend they disappear altogether. We’re best friends and I love him so much for that.
Throughout our late 20s, as many of our friends were getting engaged, married, and having kids, the FI and I were just having fun. Deep down I knew I wasn’t following the exact plan that I had originally had for my life. You know, we all have these “ideas” of how things will happen in our lives. For me it was: get engaged at 26, married at 28, and kids at 30. Well folks, I’m 30 and not married yet with no kids. I’m actually still in school finishing my PhD something I never ever thought I would accomplish. In short, my life didn’t follow the plan I had for it, or “everybody’s regular plan”. Insert trailer to “How Do You Know” with Reese Witherspoon and Paul Rudd here. It is just soooo perfect:
“Most girls’ plan is to meet a guy…love…have a baby. But I don’t know if I have what it takes for everybody’s regular plan”
But the thing about life is that it doesn’t follow a plan. Sure, I have friends (mostly those from high school actually and most of them I don’t keep in touch with) who already have kids and live what I consider to be a much more “grown-up” lifestyle then me. But when I really think about it, that actually makes me depressed. I wouldn’t want that for my late 20′s or even right now! I think of all the things I’ve done and places I’ve traveled to that wouldn’t have happened had I had this singular goal of getting married and having kids. That’s just not for me.
Everyone follows their own path. Eventually you get there
Do you ever find yourself comparing your life to what “everyone’s regular plan” is or people think it should be?
Engaged? Married? Significant Other? Pet? Friend? How long have you known each other and what makes your relationship special?